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[personal|cancer] I really go all the way to celebrate a book release

The diagnosis is now in. I am officially a cancer survivor. Early stage Tubulovillous adenocarcinoma (a/k/a cancerous polyp in the colon) with suspected lymphatic involvement (a/k/a possible lymphatic cancer).

A 4 cm tumor was excised, but biopsy reveals lymphatic involvement. CT scans indicate that my lymph nodes are clear, which means the best likelihood is that any lymphatic cancer is in the vessels along the affected portion of my colon.

I will be having some inches of my colon sectioned sometime in the next few weeks, which is currently expected to be a full cure, after which I will be cancer-free, a state I never before fully appreciated.

Tomorrow is my first psychotherapy appointment, Tuesday is my initial surgery consult. Beyond that, I’m on the medical merry-go-round for a while.

Why am I sharing this so publicly? Because it isn’t shameful, it’s annoying. It pisses me off. A little 4 cm piece of flesh shaped like a macaroni could have killed me. (I got copies of the colonoscopy imaging…if you people don’t behave, I’ll post them.) If it hadn’t ulcerated and incited bleeding, it would have killed me. I have surgery and some serious annoyance in my future, but I’ll be around to write books, annoy conservatives and make snarky blog posts for a long time to come, even if it kills me.

Meanwhile, you, and I am talking to you, go talk to your doctor about getting scoped. Especially if you’re a little older or have any family history. I never would have known the cancer was there until the autopsy report, if the damned thing hadn’t started bleeding.

I’ll keep blogging about my experiences here, and I suspect I will find most of them funny. I don’t feel very funny right this minute. But life is for the living, and I am alive. Nothing is funnier than that, my little monkeys.


Department of Weird Ironies: I went to the ER the day the mass market paperback edition of Mainspring Powell’s | Amazon thb | Audible ] came out. Everyone may rest assured that I will not be celebrating future book releases this same way.

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