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[personal] Living each day as if it were your last

Calvin and Hobbes on living each day as if it were your last.

That was one of the big lessons of cancer for me. You never know. The morning last spring that the Mainspring mass market paperback was released, I woke up happy and excited. That same evening I came within a couple of minutes of dying in the ER.

Since my recovery, I’ve really been pretty ruthless about how I live my life, who and what I embrace, and how I spend my time. Which is not to say I don’t fritter away hours and days. Rather, I fritter them knowingly. And I still do things I don’t necessarily want to do — a paycheck is needed for the mortgage, whether or not I’m going to die today.

But I do those things with a purpose, as I do other things. Parent . Write fiction. Love the people closest to me. Blog even.

I’m still inefficient as hell. I can waste time like nobody’s business. I still wish I were half as productive as my reputation would have me. I still make mistakes, follow false trails, misunderstand people and things. But that’s okay, because it’s all part of being human. I just do it all purposefully, with satisfaction. And I learn.

In the comic, Calvin wants to read Captain Napalm. In real life, I want to write it. And in the mean time, I’ll laugh, love and make limeade.

I’m lucky to have learned this stuff before life’s sweet inevitability killed me off.

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