The metaphor theories of Lakoff notwithstanding, this is the kind of crapola that allowed Colin Powell to sell the invasion of Iraq to the UN, even though anyone with half a brain, Powell included, could easily see the charts and claims he was peddling were drivel. As if the mere stance, or pose, of scientific authority suffices to demonstrate, “We’re serious here, and know what we’re doing; trust us.”

Satire or not, this Pepsi pitch is indeed believable.

A long time ago Susie was attending the Air Force Institute of Technology and was studying AI. It was advanced work, cutting edge at the time. (Fed into new breast cancer analysis, oddly.) In any case, I looked over some of her study material and said, “I could get an A easily in this course without studying a thing.” She dared me to prove it.

I wrote a paper using their format, employing academic tone. It was literally not about anything and made no sense whatsoever. It was a chunk of verbiage in a certain tone. “But how can you write a paper when you didn’t even know the topic?” Susie wondered.

“Topic doesn’t matter. Just hand it in with your stuff next time they ask for a paper, regardless of topic.”

She did.

My gibberish got an A.

Q.E.D.