Jay Lake: Writer

• Matt H: Tai Shan always ended up giving his lunch money to the bigger pandas, and he never looked forward to gym class. (25%, 26 Votes)
• goulo: "You have failed me for the last time, Admiral." (9%, 9 Votes)
• biomekanic: "The power of Christ compels you!" (7%, 7 Votes)
• djonn: Out of nowhere, Dr. McGuffin strikes, transforming Jay Lake and The Child with his diabolical Panda Beam! (7%, 7 Votes)
• Jaws: I don't KNOW where the bomb is! And what’s this "waterbambooing" thing you're talking about? (6%, 6 Votes)
• biomekanic: "I told you, no more wire coat hangers!" (5%, 5 Votes)
• sacredmime: Small panda: "Don't hurt me, I'm on the endangered list!" (5%, 5 Votes)
• biomekanic: "Is Ling-ling going to have to choke a bitch?" (5%, 5 Votes)
• dinogrl: Ling Ling, if I told you once, I;ve told you one thousand times, QUIT Panda'ering to that Jay Lake! It's NOT going to work! You will not win this contest! Now STOP it! (3%, 3 Votes)
• blogtiderising: Now, now, Junior. Put down that paw. We're socialists not fascists. (3%, 3 Votes)
• slweippert: But Mom! It was funny when Dad did it! (3%, 3 Votes)
• quantumage: I...Forgot...Safeword! (3%, 3 Votes)
• love_of_anime: "Mom...I washed under my neck I swear-geez-I'm too old for this." (2%, 2 Votes)
• stillsostrange: "But Mooooooommmm, everybody's wearing their collars popped!" "Not in my house, they're not." (2%, 2 Votes)
• will_couvillier: I swear it's true! Hairless pink aliens stole all the bamboo, not me! (2%, 2 Votes)
• sacredmime: "Pop quiz, punk--What's about to be black and white and red all over?" (2%, 2 Votes)
• brent_kellmer: "No, no, George, Get a hold of yourself! You'll get through this -- you just have to be strong." (2%, 2 Votes)
• mikigarrison: Posy was starting to wish that she'd gone for the Smokey the Bear gig -- being the Domestic Violence Panda might have more prestige and career potential, but a girl can only be choked s (2%, 2 Votes)
• melissajm: "I swear, Billy gave me this black eye! Honest!" "Uh-huh." (2%, 2 Votes)
• JSN: Auditions for the next Panda Express spokes-bear get out of hand when Junior gloats he's cuter than Eddie and Tom-Tom put together. (1%, 1 Votes)
• kylecassidy: "Imagine," George Lucas told the crowd of aspiring filmmakers, "how much better the merchandising sales would have been had all the characters in Mommy Dearest been, say, panda bears. (1%, 1 Votes)
• charlesatan: "Stay still so I can unzip you out of the panda costume." (1%, 1 Votes)
• yourbob: But Mom! The whole gang's going to see "Kung Fu Panda." (1%, 1 Votes)
• vg_ford: Really, Mom, I didn't take your copy of Mainspring! I don't know where it is! (1%, 1 Votes)
• kradical: No, really, it was this big!!!!!! (1%, 1 Votes)
• newroticgirl: SLAPFIGHT!!! (0%, 0 Votes)
• Intelligentrix: Gimme yer lunch money! Don't make me give you a wedgie. (0%, 0 Votes)
• kehrli: DOH! The thirtieth season of The Simpsons, now live-action with an all-panda cast, has been canceled. The cause was cited as 'low ratings' and not, as some have suggested, increasing opposit (0%, 0 Votes)
• will_couvillier: Hai, CHOP!! (0%, 0 Votes)
• wild_patience: "Mom, that tickles! Hey, when is it my turn to lead?" (0%, 0 Votes)
• will_couvillier: I didn't do it! I swear, the polar bear did it, really! (0%, 0 Votes)
• klingonguy: From the Spice Up Your Sex Life Calendar: Furry* Missionary Position with a Dwarf *Also available in Aardvark, Tiger, and Zebra suits. (0%, 0 Votes)
• quantumage: Bear-atch! Puh-lease! (0%, 0 Votes)
• martyn44: Mom, I didn't know it was your last one. Scout's honour! (0%, 0 Votes)
• quantumage: Simpsons did it. (0%, 0 Votes)
• quantumage: Raise your hand if you think drinking my last cold bamboo beer was a bad idea. Anyone? Anyone? (0%, 0 Votes)
• cjmarsicano: No, no, no! I'm supposed to be leading! And we're learning the fox trot, not the tango! (0%, 0 Votes)
• jaborwhalky: "Raise your hands in the air, wave them like you just don't care" (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 102