Had a very nice dinner with Mark Siegal and one of my work colleagues here at the hotel. Good conversation, ok food, eccentric service in the restaurant. All good. Tomorrow, off to San Francisco rather a bit early in the morning.
Posted: 5:51 pm Thu May 21 2009 | Comments(0) |
What’s this?
More on the National Electronics Museum when I can reasonably upload a large batch of photos.
Posted: 1:45 pm Thu May 21 2009 | Comments(3) |
In Baltimore now. My colleague and I were in the wrong city in Delaware, which took 75 minutes to correct this morning. All went well, now hanging in Hilton BWI Airport. Dinner at 7 if any of you Balticonners are in early, or local fen/writers want to come by and nosh with me.
And yes, I do know that Balticon is here tomorrow, but
Posted: 10:15 am Thu May 21 2009 | Comments(7) |
Powell’s talks about Green [ Powell's | Amazon
The linguistic roots of the Sri Lankan civil war — Kind of makes you think about those “English only” idiots.
American Stonehenge: Monumental Instructions for the Post-Apocalypse
How Down Syndrome Stops Cancer — Huh.
Building the Interstellar Message — Centauri Dreams on SETI.
?otD: Dover, Delawhere?
Posted: 2:33 am Thu May 21 2009 | Comments(0) |
The logistics of getting to BWI from Dover, DE are so ludicrous that I’m driving back to Baltimore late tomorrow afternoon rather than staying a second night in Dover. Any peeps up for a dinner in the Baltimore area, probably 7ish? I’ll be at the Hilton BWI Airport. Let me know.
Posted: 5:49 pm Wed May 20 2009 | Comments(2) |
In Dover, DE, America’s hardest-to-reach state capital. Almost 2-1/2 hours’ drive from the airport, much of it through beautiful farm country. Finished Pinion on the plane, worked on Sekrit Collaborative Projekt with
Posted: 3:29 pm Wed May 20 2009 | Comments(0) |
Thinking more about cancer and what it means to me and everyone around me.
As I observed last year, cancer is a social disease. That is to say, it has an impact far wider than the patient. This is true of all illnesses and injuries, of course. Anyone in pain or danger affects their matrix of family and friends. But there’s a special horror to cancer. Almost in the Lovecraftian sense. My body is trying to kill me, literally, and the danger is completely sui generis. This isn’t a bacterial or viral invasion, it’s not trauma, it’s not an external assault or a wounding. It’s not a function of a perceived or actual misbehavior or self-maintenance on my part. It’s me, attacking myself, at the most fundamental levels.
In that sense, cancer has more in common with diabetes or MS or CP or arthritis. All of those conditions can be crippling, literally or figuratively. Fatal even. But cancer has a hold on the popular imagination that is almost unrivaled. I have looked back over my own fiction and noted how many times I’ve used the disease as a character element or a plot device or backstory. I don’t think I’ve ever written about diabetes or MS.
There’s something terrible about growing your own monsters. A birthing of a potential death. But the hardest part of cancer, based on my experiences last year, is how it affects those around me. Seeing the desperate fear in my mother’s eyes when the doctors brought me some of the worst news when I was in the hospital. Watching the misery of my friends. Cancer is not just attacking me, it’s attacking everyone who knows or loves me.
We can fight back. We will. This isn’t fatal. Hell, the liver problems aren’t even fully diagnosed at this point. Other outcomes are possible. The polyps have returned, though, with their malignant little calling cards.
The bitch of this year’s New Adventures in Cancer is the sense that it may never end. Now we know it comes back, like some brainless zombie in a B movie. Car accidents only happen once. In my life, and in the lives of those around me, springtime is in danger of becoming cancer season.
I’m going to kill this stupid bastard disease if it’s the last thing I ever do.
Posted: 4:38 am Wed May 20 2009 | Comments(3) |
SF Signal MIND MELD: The Perfect SF/F/H Books to Give to People Who Don’t Read SF/F/H
Dark Roasted Blend with more of the world’s most interesting bridges
Bright Yellow Undies — Sonia lyris on online communication.
The trial of Leonid K — Orwellian tactics in a post-Soviet Russia. (Snurched from Scrivener’s Error.)
?otD: Cake or death?
Posted: 2:18 am Wed May 20 2009 | Comments(0) |
Since I’ve been quite frank about my experiences in these New Adventures in Cancer, I thought I’d lay out where my head is today. A very long walk on the Papillion Creek Trail gave me plenty of time to sort through what I’m thinking and feeling, inasmuch as that’s possible right now.
First off, I am intensely relieved to have the potential cancers down to just the liver anomalies. My colon’s continuing attempts to kill me are very much at issue, but that’s not a battle I need to fight today. Hopefully the lymphatic stuff will stay firmly in the “false alarm” category. The liver stuff will suck, a lot, but it’s constrained. At the same time, I’m also very angry about it. I think this is a healthy anger, falling somewhere between “borderline psychotic will to live” and “kill them all, God will know His own.” Part of what I need to stay mentally, emotionally and physiologically motivated to beat these little tumorous fuckers to death.
Secondly, I’m realizing that the battle of the colon will be a continuing process. Part of how I coped with last year’s Excellent Cancer Adventure was by unconsciously assuming that it was a one-time event, an anomaly, and that I’d return to a normal existence at some point. Clearly this is not the case. This is resetting my emotional horizons in fundamental ways. I have been planning my life in decades, assuming at least til age 70 for active, productive healthy daily existence, and at least age 80 for reasonable health and productivity. While that’s not off the menu — everything going on now is controllable — my risk factors are going to be much higher than the general population for the foreseeable future. It’s not that I think I’m going to die young. It’s that I know I might. So my sense of living for the day, already very strong since last year’s struggle, has been sharpened. I grow monsters in my gut, and sooner or later one of them may kill me. I can live with that, I just need to live in the now, however long the now turns out to be.
Third, the outpouring of love, support and affection here on the blogs, via Twitter, via email, via telephone, in person — it has been overwhelming. Sort of like going to my own funeral, Tom Sawyer style. I have not even pretended to keep up with everyone, for which I am sorry. I want to say the sense of community has been a very powerful part of my ability to weather this experience thus far, and will be a critical aspect of these next phases of the process. Thank you, everyone.
Meanwhile, life goes on. I have been working with
Thank you, every one. And most especially, thank you to
Posted: 4:21 am Tue May 19 2009 | Comments(6) |
Don’t forget to vote for new caption contest — Some funny stuff there.
Among Friends: 1926 — Shorpy with another interesting photo. The original 1926 caption is astonishingly patronizing.
Time lapse photography of the galactic core as seen from Earth — Some serious cool here.
What do 3,000 years do to wages? — Gender differentials in wage rates over a very long time span.
Top Bush officials not liable for Muslims’ post-Sept. 11 arrests — Conservatives sweep another Constitutional shredding under the rug. Nice to see the GOP continuing to stick to its principles. The good times never end, do they?
No More Mr. Nice Guy — The conscience of a conservative: a profile of Chief Justice Roberts.
?otD: Who wants to live forever?
Posted: 3:18 am Tue May 19 2009 | Comments(0) |