Jay Lake: Writer

[cancer] CT scan-o-rama

Today’s adventures in cancer included a CT scan here at UCSF in San Francisco. That went in the usual manner, until it didn’t.

and I arrived early, and they took me in early. The IV was put in my left arm for the contrast dye, then I sat around for a while. They took me into the little room with the big white donut and set me up on the scanning bed.

At that point a long, confusing conversation occurred about precisely what my scanning orders were. As I explained to the tech, they were doing me “neck to nuts”, with a quad-phase scan of my liver. Several phone calls later, they announced that the radiologist wanted to handle it differently, and was that ok with me? Like, what am I supposed to say?

When the contrast dye went into my IV, they warned me I’d feel a little heat. I don’t remember this from prior CT scans, but boy were they right. My left arm got warm around the IV insertion point. Then my lips got warm, almost hot. Then my penis got hot. Then my anus got hot, and I had a nigh overwhelming urge to shit, right there on the bed.

I controlled myself, on all counts, but it was very strange.

As usual, the CT scan itself took about three minutes. We got me dressed and de-needled, then and I went across the street to the film library, where we retrieved the scan data for me to take back to OHSU, my hospital in Oregon. The scan disc they gave me is marked “Abd & Pelvis”, says nothing about a chest scan. I am not, shall we say, infused with the cheery glow of confidence.

On the other hand, if I have to go back in, I get another site-specific hot flash…

PS, I’ll get the scan results on Wednesday.

Tags: Calendula, California, Cancer, Funny, health

Posted: 3:05 pm Mon July 20 2009 |

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