[Cancer]
[cancer] Closing in
Surgery is in two days. Nothing like a nacho-ectomy to brighten one’s holidays. Still, I think this is a good time to have this surgery.
I’ve been narrowing more and more. It’s increasingly difficult to respond to email, and I’ve become almost utterly single threaded. I know from last year’s cancer surgery that this is normal for me pre-op, but I have some pretty serious hate for what the whole business does to my mind and my emotions.
This blog will be going dormant while I’m in the hospital, at least til I’ve recovered sufficiently to peck at a keyboard.
My state of mind is about what you’d expect. A mix of dread, terror and anticipation. Two days from now I jump off a cliff and begin a long fall that won’t really end before next July when I’ve tapered off chemo.
I never wanted this. No one ever does, I guess. Sometimes the sheer horror of it all just overwhelms me. I just hang on to the notion that I’ll eventually get my life back.
Posted: 5:51 am Mon November 23 2009 |
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You are reading the blog of Jay Lake, speculative fiction writer and author of hundreds of short stories, many novels, and winner of the John W. Campbell Award.
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thelittlefluffycat
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:58 amWe are all hanging onto that for you as well. {{{JL}}}
Cate Gardner
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:00 amGood luck, Jay. Will be thinking of you.
Sän
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 am<3
Luís Rodrigues
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 amAll the best to you, Jay. We’re rooting for your recovery.
Philip Athans
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 amHang in there, Jay. We’ll be talking about a short story before you know it!
Christie Skipper
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 amThinking of you, hoping for only the best for you. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
Pablo Defendini
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 amWe’re all pulling for you, Jay. All will be well.
Tzi
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:52 amThinking of you, Jay, and we’ll be hoisting a mug of cider in your honor.
Brad R. Torgersen
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 amBest of luck to you, Jay. I’ve had some family run the cancer gauntlet, and do not envy the emotional and mental rollercoaster you’re experiencing; on top of the physical pain and debilitation.
May the surgery go quickly, successfully, and forward you towards a better prognosis.
Try to keep your attitude positive, if possible. I’ve seen more than one cancer patient beat the demon, on positive attitude more than almost anything. Amazing what the body is capable of, when the mind and the heart and the soul are each singularly focused and committed.
Hang in there. Carry on.
Steve Buchheit
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 pmWe’ll all be waiting for you on the other end of it, Jay. Focus on what you need to, we’ll keep.
And I hear Turkey Jello is the bomb.
Gerry Huntman
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:07 pmThe best wish I can give you is that it is quick, over and done with, and time flies. Good luck.
Cora
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pmGood luck and best wishes for a complete and speedy recovery.
Greg
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:07 pmMy partner and I are keeping good thoughts and wishes for your health and speedy recovery…
Pierce Watters
November 24th, 2009 at 2:39 amGood luck and good thoughts coming your way.
Ieva
November 24th, 2009 at 6:35 amI’m sending good thoughts your way all across the globe. Be well, and hang on!
Brenda Cooper
November 24th, 2009 at 6:58 amGood luck Jay! Hugs. Do well. Will be thinking of you and watching for tweets.
Matt
November 24th, 2009 at 7:30 amGood luck! Positive thoughts to you.