Surgery is in two days. Nothing like a nacho-ectomy to brighten one’s holidays. Still, I think this is a good time to have this surgery.
I’ve been narrowing more and more. It’s increasingly difficult to respond to email, and I’ve become almost utterly single threaded. I know from last year’s cancer surgery that this is normal for me pre-op, but I have some pretty serious hate for what the whole business does to my mind and my emotions.
This blog will be going dormant while I’m in the hospital, at least til I’ve recovered sufficiently to peck at a keyboard.
My state of mind is about what you’d expect. A mix of dread, terror and anticipation. Two days from now I jump off a cliff and begin a long fall that won’t really end before next July when I’ve tapered off chemo.
I never wanted this. No one ever does, I guess. Sometimes the sheer horror of it all just overwhelms me. I just hang on to the notion that I’ll eventually get my life back.