[cancer] More sex, and other mysteries

Just spoke to the chemo nurse. I have been advised that due to me being on 5-FU (Fluorouracil), condoms are absolutely required for any relevant sexual act during chemo and for three months afterward. The drugs involved are too disruptive to risk passing on to my sex partners via my ejaculate. Also due to my immunocompromised status, I cannot perform oral sex without a dental dam, as the consequences of me contracting a bacterial infection are severe. This is not surprising, but it does not please me.

In other news, thanks to a prompting from a friend of , I queried about EMLA, an anaesthetic cream that’s applied to the skin above the chest port an hour or so prior to the needle being set. The nurse said, “Well, that’s a good idea. It will cut down quite a bit on your incidental pain.” Which made me wonder why they didn’t prescribe it proactively. She also indicated that I can continue physical therapy while under chemo, with no particular cautions. So my shoulder will progress further.

In other news, I’m mulling a post on cancer, stress and my atheism. It seems to need to be discussed — even my clinic is advising me to support my spiritual side through my faith, which seems to considerably privilege religious belief. I’m not planning to make an issue of it there, not at all, just wanting to answer the implied question, which was explicitly voiced by an acquaintance who recently commented, “I just don’t understand how you can do this without faith in God.”

That definitely deserves a thoughtful response.

5 thoughts on “[cancer] More sex, and other mysteries

  1. Laura says:

    ““I just don’t understand how you can do this without faith in God.”

    That definitely deserves a thoughtful response.”

    I am not sure I understand why it is deserving of a thoughtful response, so I am looking forward to your blog on the subject.

  2. Kat says:

    I wanted to thank you for the information you provided me and anyone else who is searching for answers. My husband and I are in a similar situation, not knowing what is acceptable when it comes to our sex lives, not being able to get any answers and being treated with disgust for even thinking about intimacy. It’s gotten to the point where we avoid each other out of fear since we are both very physical when it comes to expressing our feelings. I wish the news was better (especially since there is a latex allergy involved) but at least we now know. Thank you and I hope you are doing well!

    1. Jay says:

      I am sorry to hear that. I have a short draft essay (unposted as of yet) about ways to have a successful sex life on chemo. If it might help, I’d be happy to email it to you. I just don’t want to spam your inbox with something that has a lot of pr0n keywords in it — the essay is quite frank and uses plain English words that trip some people’s mail (or personal) filters. Let me know.

      1. Kat says:

        That would be much appreciated! I have been doing so much reading on here, it’s both comforting and equally depressing. It’s amazing how similar many things are and how many of the daily struggles have been down played by our Dr’s as being “not the norm”. I cannot thank you enough, your words have somewhat restored my sanity.

        1. Jay says:

          Just emailed you. Please let me know if you didn’t receive something from me.

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