[cancer] Yesterday sucked

Well, that was the hardest Monday I’ve had yet. The extreme fatigue of the weekend (a whole new order of magnitude of an already existing, severe problem0 translated into a miserable Monday. I wound up taking time off the Day Jobbe despite my best intentions. Spent much of the day sitting or lying down, went to bed quite early armed with Lorazepam. So far I feel ok today, but, wow…

I hope like blazes that the next rounds of infusion don’t follow this pattern. I am giving credence to ‘s theory that last week’s cold wipe me out so that I didn’t have even my minimal reserves to cope with chemo. I just hadn’t realized how much further I could sink.

and had a good weekend. Emotionally, mine wasn’t bad, beyond the hideous fatigue. They got a lot done. Last night presented me with a hilarious gift that I understand and helped her with. You guys get up to a lot down there in San Francisco, don’t you?

I am cancelling all my social plans this week except Thursday’s reading at Powell’s Cedar Hills for Pinion. This means missing ‘s birthday party, the Fireside Writers Group, a couple of lunches and a dinner. But it’s perfectly clear to me that I need to maximize my rest right now. And given that I lost my tax prep weekend to the cold a week and a half ago, I need some mental and physical energy for it this coming weekend.

Still, I’m amazed at how bad yesterday was for me. This stuff keeps reaching new lows. If I were a praying man, I’d be on my knees begging for strength in the next go-round.

Meanwhile, departed yesterday afternoon. leaves today. I will be home alone a while. This is probably good for my resting state, but my heart is always happier in company.

9 thoughts on “[cancer] Yesterday sucked

  1. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I watched a loved one go through this same thing. Although I can’t do anything but send light & love your way, you are in my thoughts. And I am very grateful for the retweet of yours that lead me to your blog.


    1. Jay says:

      Thank you for reading along. 🙂

  2. Kessa says:

    On the slow path of healing myself, the discussions about how much energy one has for a day have taken on a gamer geek perspective, which adds that warped little twist of humor to the situation.
    It works like this: You are allotted a certain number of “action points” …like intelligence, dexterity, etc… and some days you have more action points than others. So, instead of saying “I don’t think I have the energy to crawl out of bed today.” you say “Today I’m down a few action points.”
    Silly, maybe, but it seems less limiting somehow.

    Here’s me, sending you some extra ‘action points’ for the week, in the form of good thoughts and hope for your recovery.


  3. Jay,

    I’m thinking of you and sending good wishes for some energy where you need it and some ease.


    1. Jay says:

      Thank you. 🙂

  4. Greg says:

    Hi Jay….

    I have not been able to check the blog in several days – spent some days in Paris with a friend (first trip for both of us) and had no internet service.

    Though I am a long lapsed catholic and your stance on religion is long known here I lit a candle for you under the statue of Joan of Arc at Notre-Dame and was moved by the spiritual quality of the Sacre Coeur in Montmartre and said a silent prayer that included one for your health.

    Take Care


    1. Jay says:

      Thank you. Much appreciated. And I hope you really enjoyed Paris!

      1. Greg says:

        Loved Paris – want to go back already… wishing you well Jay….

  5. Bob Kruger says:

    Sending you good thoughts from North Bend, Jay. Thanks for the updates!


Comments are closed.