Jay Lake: Writer

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[Cancer]

[cancer] Sliding into home, but they keep moving the plate

Yesterday was the roughest Wednesday I’ve had yet during all of chemotherapy. On the week after infusions (ie, this week), that’s usually the day I start feeling a bit like myself. On the week before infusions, it’s usually one of the best days for energy and focus. Yesterday I was so exhausted I couldn’t climb the stairs inside the house without significant effort and a five-minute rest afterward. My lower GI was behaving abominably, even by chemo standards. In fact, it was amazing I could get to sleep last night, given those issues.

Also, the peripheral neuropathy is worse this week. I had to switch to full-fingered gloves last night instead of fingerless. My temperature sensation continues to be very odd. Once I had the full-fingered gloves on, my hands were simultaneously too uncomfortably hot (sweaty, clammy, itchy from the wool) and freezing cold to the point of debilitating (neural signalling errors from the peripheral neuropathy). The rest of my body couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be deep in blankets or out in the evening air of my bedroom. Like my hands, both at the same time, apparently.

However, sleep I did, almost ten hours. and her movers labored late. I really wish I could have helped. We are having lunch today with and the visiting , which will be nice, and will also be my one outing this week. is off to the Locus Awards tomorrow, is not in Portland this weekend, and most of my family is out of town as well. So I figure on a quiet weekend at home, which is probably exactly what I need.

I just want my hands to feel normal, though.

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