Jay Lake: Writer

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[personal] Life in the pressure cooker

Over at the hospital at 5 am this morning to sit with tillyjane for a while. She is barely mobile and in a lot of discomfort, but recovering nicely. They may discharge her as early as Tuesday. We’re still getting a handle on how to manage her care at home.

Yesterday I was thinking about what to tell my therapist when I see him this coming week. Over the past two weeks, exactly so counting back from today, I and the people I love have experienced:

  • A major relationship crisis with calendula_witch as our respective chemo stress finally unloaded abruptly and overwhelmingly
  • That same relationship crisis extending to her connection with markferrari as both cause and effect
  • tillyjane (a/k/a my mom) going in the course of five days from ordinary health to major, life-changing surgery
  • The return of the Fear over tomorrow’s cancer scans; and my abject terror that they will find more spots and I’ll be back on the surgery/chemo trail again
  • the_child turning thirteen, with a great deal of the stereotypical transition drama actually occurring in real life
  • A total shut down of my writing productivity due to stress, which is almost unheard of for me
  • Two straight weeks of travel and being away from home while this was all happening

Why has my head not yet exploded like a pumpkin filled with acetylene?

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