[cancer] Morpheus’ elusive chariot awaits me not
Because of the Late Unpleasantness in my lower GI immediately following on a chemo weekend, I slept about two weeks straight with Lorazepam every night. These past two nights I’ve foregone the pill, and have slept for beans as a result. This frustrates me.
I really, really don’t want to be drug-dependent to meet my sleep needs. In my baseline health, I am a champion sleeper. Turn off the light, fall asleep, wake six hours later energetic and refreshed. I am like the opposite of a sleep disorder. These last two nights it’s been frequent wakefulness and uneasy dreams.
Two nights doesn’t mean I got hooked on the Lorazepam. And later in the chemo cycle I’ll likely be on it close to full time anyway. But this isn’t how I want to live my life, out of a pillbox. At the moment, even sleep, one of my closest companions, seems out of my control.
In other news, I am having the opposite problem of the Late Unpleasantness in my lower GI, which is completely unsurprising as the relevant meds normally affect me like a concrete enema. Which they have. Which means my appetite is shrinking as my GI tract backs up deeper and deeper.
Sigh. Car on ice. Always.
Posted: 7:08 am Sun December 30 2012 |