Jay Lake: Writer

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Index to Cancer Blogging

Since the onset of my cancer in April of 2008, I’ve made over 700 blog posts about cancer, its treatments, and its impact on my life. Thousands of readers of my blog, from family and close friends to total strangers all across the Internet, have followed along with me as I’ve discussed my body, my emotions, even my sexuality as inflected by cancer.

What follows is an abbreviated index of those posts, culling out over 200 which have some significance and organizing them roughly by subject. Posts I consider the most important or most potentially useful to readers are emphasized in bold. Note that in some posts there is very frank discussion of bodily functions, sexuality and troubling emotions. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible.

Obviously, reading these posts is a bit of cherrypicking, as the full context is not always present. For those interested in the entire history of my cancer blogging, the master index is here. Otherwise, I hope this is educational and helpful to you.

Subjects: [ Initial Presentation | Second Presentation | Third Presentation | Fourth Presentation | Response from Others | Disease Progression ]
[ The Emotions of Cancer | Health Insurance and Costs | Living With Cancer | Sex and Cancer | The Treatments ]
[ Sex on chemo: a user’s guide to cancer and your love life ]

Date Title LiveJournal URL WordPress URL
Initial Presentation
May 1, 2008 [personal|cancer] I really go all the way to celebrate a book release LiveJournal WordPress
Second Presentation
May 14, 2009 [cancer] Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the car bomb LiveJournal WordPress
May 17, 2009 [cancer] Where the heart goes when the head doesn’t know LiveJournal WordPress
May 18, 2009 [cancer] Some good news LiveJournal WordPress
May 22, 2009 [cancer] By circuitous paths information accrues, being an update LiveJournal WordPress
June 10, 2009 [cancer] Lies, damn lies and statistics LiveJournal WordPress
June 13, 2009 [cancer] A visit with the oncologist LiveJournal WordPress
June 22, 2009 [cancer] Big pink hammer hanging over my head LiveJournal WordPress
June 29, 2009 [cancer] White tube blues LiveJournal WordPress
July 14, 2009 [cancer] The magical land of health insurance LiveJournal WordPress
July 22, 2009 [cancer] Cautious Optimism LiveJournal WordPress
July 27, 2009 [cancer] More optimism, less caution, no chemo for now LiveJournal WordPress
October 22, 2009 [cancer] The price of a single banana LiveJournal WordPress
October 26, 2009 [cancer] Dept of things you never thought you’d say -or- Things get worse LiveJournal WordPress
November 5, 2009 [cancer] Excising the nacho; or; the surgical plan LiveJournal WordPress
December 5, 2009 [cancer] Reclaiming my hour LiveJournal WordPress
December 6, 2009 [cancer] Let the medical TMI begin LiveJournal WordPress
December 7, 2009 [cancer] Update on cancer, surgery and chemotherapy LiveJournal WordPress
December 8, 2009 [cancer] Paging Baron Harkonnen to the operating theatre LiveJournal WordPress
January 8, 2010 [cancer] The dawn of infusion day, the first of twelve LiveJournal WordPress
June 20, 2010 [cancer] What the oncologist has said, coming off of chemo LiveJournal WordPress
Third Presentation
July 19, 2010 [cancer] I have seen the future, brother, and it is murder LiveJournal WordPress
July 21, 2010 [cancer] Now is the summer of our discontent LiveJournal WordPress
August 11, 2010 [cancer] Having met with the liver surgeon… LiveJournal WordPress
September 15, 2010 [cancer] Heading back under the knife LiveJournal WordPress
September 23, 2010 [cancer] Flipping the bone yoyo LiveJournal WordPress
October 4, 2010 [cancer] Getting so much better all the time LiveJournal WordPress
Fourth Presentation
April 18, 2011 [cancer] Here we go again LiveJournal WordPress
April 19, 2011 [cancer] Beginning the journey, again LiveJournal WordPress
April 28, 2011 [cancer] Meeting with the surgical oncologist LiveJournal WordPress
July 17, 2011 [cancer] The forthcoming surgery LiveJournal WordPress
July 19, 2011 [cancer] Surgery LiveJournal WordPress
August 6, 2011 [cancer] More oncology LiveJournal WordPress
September 24, 2011 [cancer] And yet another potential problem rears its ugly head LiveJournal WordPress
Response from Others
May 3, 2008 [cancer] Being patient in public with the big, magic cancer hat LiveJournal WordPress
November 20, 2009 [cancer] Generosity LiveJournal WordPress
December 23, 2009 [polls] Caption contest voting poll, Nachoectomy edition LiveJournal WordPress
December 30, 2009 [contests] We have a winner LiveJournal WordPress
January 26, 2010 [cancer] HCR, one conservative and me LiveJournal WordPress
March 8, 2010 [cancer] Bald heads and sick kids LiveJournal WordPress
May 29, 2010 [child|cancer] The Child asks questions LiveJournal WordPress
September 15, 2010 [culture] Scenes from an oncology unit LiveJournal WordPress
September 24, 2010 [cancer] Bad liver, good life LiveJournal WordPress
June 4, 2011 [cancer] International Fuck Cancer Day LiveJournal WordPress
June 25, 2011 [conventions] Buzzing through the Locus Awards LiveJournal WordPress
August 1, 2011 [cancer] The things people say LiveJournal WordPress
Disease Progression
May 15, 2009 [cancer] A bit of personal history, for newer readers LiveJournal WordPress
September 29, 2009 [cancer] An interim update, in which our hero does nothing much LiveJournal WordPress
October 21, 2009 [cancer] Just a bit more LiveJournal WordPress
March 22, 2010 [cancer] A recap of my cancer history, for those who have tuned in since the beginning LiveJournal WordPress
The Emotions of Cancer
May 8, 2008 [cancer] The Door That Never Opens Twice LiveJournal WordPress
July 4, 2008 [cancer] “Is this concrete all around me, or is it in my head?” LiveJournal WordPress
July 26, 2008 [cancer] Coming back from an invisible edge LiveJournal WordPress
November 27, 2008 [personal] What I am thankful for LiveJournal WordPress
February 6, 2009 [cancer] Flashbacks LiveJournal WordPress
March 10, 2009 [cancer] A brief return of The Fear LiveJournal WordPress
April 4, 2009 [cancer] Why I talk about the Fear, and about cancer in general LiveJournal WordPress
April 21, 2009 [cancer] The Fear pays me a visit LiveJournal WordPress
May 19, 2009 [cancer] Today’s state of the Jay LiveJournal WordPress
May 25, 2009 [cancer] Slow dancing with the Fear LiveJournal WordPress
June 14, 2009 [cancer] The edges in my head LiveJournal WordPress
July 6, 2009 [cancer] Getting narrower LiveJournal WordPress
July 12, 2009 [cancer] Things I am afraid of LiveJournal WordPress
July 12, 2009 [cancer] Some days you fly, some days you fry LiveJournal WordPress
October 13, 2009 [cancer] Fear, moving like a slow tide LiveJournal WordPress
October 20, 2009 [cancer] Melting from stress LiveJournal WordPress
October 28, 2009 [cancer] Tears fall down like missiles from the skies LiveJournal WordPress
November 5, 2009 [cancer] Seeing the surgeon today LiveJournal WordPress
November 10, 2009 [cancer] The frame of mind begins to narrow LiveJournal WordPress
November 12, 2009 [cancer] A brief note on stress LiveJournal WordPress
November 18, 2009 [personal|cancer] Randomosity LiveJournal WordPress
December 15, 2009 [cancer] Depression LiveJournal WordPress
December 19, 2009 [personal|cancer] Getting through another tough night LiveJournal WordPress
December 23, 2009 [cancer] The dread and fear of things LiveJournal WordPress
January 3, 2010 [cancer] Sometimes you hit the wall, sometimes the wall hits you LiveJournal WordPress
January 26, 2010 [cancer] Chemo and its discontents LiveJournal WordPress
February 4, 2010 [cancer] Heading into the third infusion LiveJournal WordPress
February 6, 2010 [cancer] The lighter side of darkness, or, why I don’t live in the shadows LiveJournal WordPress
May 29, 2010 [cancer] Updates, lessons and the nature of anger LiveJournal WordPress
May 31, 2010 [cancer] On hope, some thoughts to balance pain LiveJournal WordPress
July 12, 2010 [cancer] The slow return of the Fear LiveJournal WordPress
July 19, 2010 [cancer] Almost time to go back to the well LiveJournal WordPress
July 20, 2010 [cancer] The breaking of the ancient Western code LiveJournal WordPress
July 27, 2010 [cancer] The feet, the future LiveJournal WordPress
August 1, 2010 [cancer] Again with the coping LiveJournal WordPress
August 7, 2010 [cancer] Walking through the valley of the shadow of metastasis LiveJournal WordPress
August 10, 2010 [cancer] Fear and loathing in El Lago LiveJournal WordPress
August 12, 2010 [cancer] Melting down like an ice cream cone on an August sidewalk LiveJournal WordPress
August 18, 2010 [personal] Disclaimer: This post lacks wit or wisdom LiveJournal WordPress
September 29, 2010 [cancer] Sleep, emotions, healing and life LiveJournal WordPress
September 30, 2010 [cancer] The living dream of water LiveJournal WordPress
October 13, 2010 [cancer] Reverb, echoes and bad behavior LiveJournal WordPress
October 14, 2010 [cancer] Coping with the emotions, a bit more thereon LiveJournal WordPress
November 26, 2010 [cancer|personal] The black dog barks LiveJournal WordPress
December 31, 2010 [personal|cancer] The cost of living, or at least not dying LiveJournal WordPress
February 14, 2011 [cancer] Coping with the future LiveJournal WordPress
March 24, 2011 [cancer] Seeing it from the other side LiveJournal WordPress
March 28, 2011 [cancer] More visits to the hospital LiveJournal WordPress
April 3, 2011 [cancer] The return of the Fear, and the Child steps up LiveJournal WordPress
April 6, 2011 [personal|cancer] Energy and health LiveJournal WordPress
April 25, 2011 [cancer] Settling into a different mind LiveJournal WordPress
May 9, 2011 [cancer] Flying into the forbidding future LiveJournal WordPress
July 29, 2011 [cancer] Wishing for a different future LiveJournal WordPress
August 11, 2011 [cancer] The mental fight LiveJournal WordPress
September 1, 2011 [cancer] It is to update, also, mortality LiveJournal WordPress
September 22, 2011 [cancer] The gentle subtlety of a sledgehammer to the skull LiveJournal WordPress
September 26, 2011 [cancer] The strange emotional terrain of cancer LiveJournal WordPress
September 28, 2011 [cancer] Living in the past LiveJournal WordPress
September 29, 2011 [cancer] A bit more on why I worked on the index just now LiveJournal WordPress
October 3, 2011 [cancer|personal] On unfairness and despair LiveJournal WordPress
Health Insurance and Costs
January 4, 2010 [cancer] The magical power of health insurance to sap the soul and drain the mind LiveJournal WordPress
January 7, 2010 [cancer] What’s my life worth to you? LiveJournal WordPress
January 22, 2010 [cancer] Healthcare reform, and a question for my conservative friends LiveJournal WordPress
February 23, 2010 [cancer] More on the weird billing, and costs of healthcare LiveJournal WordPress
March 22, 2010 [politics] My initial thoughts on HCR, and some related links LiveJournal WordPress
July 28, 2010 [cancer] Work, society and me LiveJournal WordPress
July 29, 2010 [culture] The politics of American healthcare LiveJournal WordPress
May 12, 2011 [cancer] Healthcare Weirdness LiveJournal WordPress
September 21, 2011 [cancer] Following up on recent events, and more on costs LiveJournal WordPress
Living With Cancer
June 23, 2008 [personal|cancer] Sleeping with the enemy LiveJournal WordPress
July 7, 2008 [cancer] The IQ tests LiveJournal WordPress
July 27, 2008 [cancer] The gifts of cancer LiveJournal WordPress
October 19, 2008 [cancer] Redefining myself LiveJournal WordPress
December 2, 2008 [personal] Living inside my body LiveJournal WordPress
January 7, 2009 [personal] Living each day as if it were your last LiveJournal WordPress
May 20, 2009 [cancer] A social disease LiveJournal WordPress
June 11, 2009 [cancer] Live ghost walking LiveJournal WordPress
June 30, 2009 [cancer] No one expects the Spanish Inquisition LiveJournal WordPress
July 2, 2009 [cancer] Top 10 reasons why cancer is like the zombie apocalypse LiveJournal WordPress
July 31, 2009 [cancer] How do I get through the bad bits? LiveJournal WordPress
October 19, 2009 [cancer] Three maps, one road; and the Fear LiveJournal WordPress
November 3, 2009 [cancer] Home, looking ahead LiveJournal WordPress
November 6, 2009 [cancer] So now what? LiveJournal WordPress
November 15, 2009 [cancer|personal] Crossing the streams LiveJournal WordPress
November 17, 2009 [cancer] Crossing the Rubicon LiveJournal WordPress
December 4, 2009 [cancer] Trying to put things into perspective LiveJournal WordPress
December 18, 2009 [photos] The zombie hair, photographic evidence thereof LiveJournal WordPress
December 22, 2009 [cancer] Learning to live with limitations, and why I talk about it so much LiveJournal WordPress
December 24, 2009 [cancer|religion] Atheism, cancer and me LiveJournal WordPress
December 27, 2009 [cancer] Life changes, the smaller kind; potty talk edition LiveJournal WordPress
December 28, 2009 [cancer|personal] Walking, thinking, God again, and a bit of scavenging LiveJournal WordPress
January 7, 2010 [cancer] The chemo ritual LiveJournal WordPress
January 9, 2010 [cancer] A note on spoons LiveJournal WordPress
January 10, 2010 [cancer] Chemotherapy, the overnight and day 3 experience LiveJournal WordPress
January 15, 2010 [personal|cancer] What rough Friday slouching toward the weekend waiting to be born LiveJournal WordPress
February 10, 2010 [cancer] Sacrifices made for me by the petty gods of chemo LiveJournal WordPress
February 25, 2010 [cancer] Recovery curves LiveJournal WordPress
February 26, 2010 [cancer] The transient illusion of competency LiveJournal WordPress
March 3, 2010 [photos|cancer] Taking the hair off … all of it LiveJournal WordPress
March 18, 2010 [cancer|writing] Writing through cancer LiveJournal WordPress
April 9, 2010 [cancer] Rough couple of days, in which I am someone I really don’t want to be LiveJournal WordPress
April 18, 2010 [cancer] Sometimes you lose big, in small ways LiveJournal WordPress
April 22, 2010 [cancer|personal] Wind, the sucking thereof LiveJournal WordPress
May 12, 2010 [cancer|process] Writer’s block, or energy block? LiveJournal WordPress
May 17, 2010 [cancer] A little better, some notes on sleep LiveJournal WordPress
May 17, 2010 [books|cancer] The Specific Gravity of Grief LiveJournal WordPress
May 18, 2010 [cancer] Fighting to stay awake LiveJournal WordPress
May 24, 2010 [cancer] Sleeping my way through chemo LiveJournal WordPress
May 28, 2010 [cancer] The dreams, please… LiveJournal WordPress
June 3, 2010 [cancer] Continuing fog, with reefs LiveJournal WordPress
June 5, 2010 [books] A bit more on The Specific Gravity of Grief, and where I’d like see it go LiveJournal WordPress
June 8, 2010 [cancer] Wasted days and wasted nights… LiveJournal WordPress
June 10, 2010 [cancer|food] What I miss the most LiveJournal WordPress
June 11, 2010 [cancer] Holding up my end of the family LiveJournal WordPress
June 14, 2010 [cancer] Sometimes it’s all about the grump LiveJournal WordPress
June 15, 2010 [cancer] Closing in on the last session, a note on my heart LiveJournal WordPress
June 16, 2010 [cancer] It’s all in the details, Mr. President LiveJournal WordPress
June 23, 2010 [cancer] Forget Roger Daltrey, I hope I get old before I die LiveJournal WordPress
July 13, 2010 [cancer] Hand, hand, fingers, thumb LiveJournal WordPress
August 2, 2010 [cancer] Class privilege and chemotherapy LiveJournal WordPress
August 13, 2010 [cancer] Dipping from the wells of disappointment LiveJournal WordPress
August 16, 2010 [personal|cancer] Trying to keep up LiveJournal WordPress
August 17, 2010 [cancer] A pair of semirandom lists LiveJournal WordPress
August 21, 2010 [personal] Sleeping it off, walking and talking our way into the new day LiveJournal WordPress
August 24, 2010 [personal] Fatherhood in the time of cancer LiveJournal WordPress
September 13, 2010 [cancer] The recovery curve intersects with the catastrophe curve LiveJournal WordPress
October 15, 2010 [cancer] Looking back and forward LiveJournal WordPress
November 18, 2010 [cancer] Just when you thought it was safe… LiveJournal WordPress
February 2, 2011 [cancer] Status check LiveJournal WordPress
March 25, 2011 [personal|cancer] The good news and the bad LiveJournal WordPress
March 29, 2011 [personal|cancer] This and that and Edith Throckmorton LiveJournal WordPress
April 8, 2011 [personal|cancer] Thoughts and condolences LiveJournal WordPress
April 27, 2011 [cancer] My theory of problems LiveJournal WordPress
April 27, 2011 [cancer] Quick updates LiveJournal WordPress
April 29, 2011 [cancer|photos] Owning the pain through tattoos LiveJournal WordPress
April 30, 2011 [cancer] What I think I hate the most LiveJournal WordPress
May 4, 2011 [cancer] Becoming the invisible man LiveJournal WordPress
May 10, 2011 [cancer] Hair and body LiveJournal WordPress
May 12, 2011 [photos|cancer] My hair LiveJournal WordPress
June 11, 2011 [cancer] Thinking through chemofail LiveJournal WordPress
June 19, 2011 [photos] Coloring my chemo head LiveJournal WordPress
July 11, 2011 [travel] The joys of flying as a cancer patient LiveJournal WordPress
July 18, 2011 [cancer] On invisibility LiveJournal WordPress
September 7, 2011 [personal] Conceiving audacity, antipodeal edition LiveJournal WordPress
September 8, 2011 [cancer] On the significance of shirts LiveJournal WordPress
September 8, 2011 [personal|travel] At the Mountains of Madness – more thoughts on Antarctica LiveJournal WordPress
September 15, 2011 [process] Stakes and rising action, with a digression on dialog LiveJournal WordPress
September 26, 2011 [writing] Catching up and falling behind LiveJournal WordPress
September 30, 2011 [cancer] On Health LiveJournal WordPress
Sex and Cancer
November 4, 2009 [cancer] The sexuality of cancer LiveJournal WordPress
December 21, 2009 [personal|cancer] More reflections, plus sex! LiveJournal WordPress
December 21, 2009 [cancer] More about sex LiveJournal WordPress
December 23, 2009 [cancer] More sex, and other mysteries LiveJournal WordPress
December 24, 2009 [cancer] A little bit more on sex and chemo LiveJournal WordPress
March 14, 2010 [cancer] Chemo, sex, Viagra and me LiveJournal WordPress
The Treatments
May 5, 2008 [cancer] Wrapped in loving arms LiveJournal WordPress
May 9, 2008 [cancer] “I was waiting on the pad / all systems were go” LiveJournal WordPress
May 26, 2008 [cancer] The journey of a thousand lifetimes begins with a single stumble LiveJournal WordPress
November 25, 2009 [cancer] I may be some time LiveJournal WordPress
December 3, 2009 [cancer] Beginning to blog the experience – the Ninja Moment LiveJournal WordPress
December 3, 2009 [cancer|photos] More on love and surgery LiveJournal WordPress
December 16, 2009 [cancer] More surgery today LiveJournal WordPress
December 17, 2009 [cancer] Zombie hair, and a Harkonnen heart plug LiveJournal WordPress
May 30, 2010 [cancer] Pain, discomfort and the discontents of the insulted body LiveJournal WordPress
June 9, 2010 [cancer] Of ports, scans and the smell of ancient oceans LiveJournal WordPress
June 15, 2010 [cancer] The long, slow hello to normalcy LiveJournal WordPress
July 2, 2010 [cancer] An abbreviated user’s guide to the chemotherapy experience LiveJournal WordPress
August 19, 2010 [cancer] Time for another alien abduction experience LiveJournal WordPress
May 13, 2011 [cancer] Off to the infusion center LiveJournal WordPress
May 14, 2011 [cancer] Chemotherapy session 1, day 1 – FOLFIRI LiveJournal WordPress
June 8, 2011 [cancer] Catching up to the side effects LiveJournal WordPress
June 30, 2011 [cancer] Off to see the lizard LiveJournal WordPress
July 6, 2011 [cancer|personal] Energy and focus LiveJournal WordPress
July 10, 2011 [cancer] Living with the results of chemo LiveJournal WordPress
July 24, 2011 [cancer] Coming out of the hospital LiveJournal WordPress
August 29, 2011 [cancer] To sleep, perchance to wake the frak up LiveJournal WordPress
September 6, 2011 [cancer] How will we know if the chemo has succeeded? LiveJournal WordPress