• johnnyeponymous - Jay Lake: shown here doing primary research for his novelization of Terminator: Salvation.
• yourbob - Lake-cutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.
• will_couvillier - Enter the JayBot - the newest Lakeinator model.
• drachin8 - Jay Lake's experimental colon replacement surgery went a bit further than expected...
• corvida - Nothing to worry about...it's just a routine oil change.
• rarelylynne - Want posterity? There's always archiving instead...
• will_couvillier - It was only supposed to be a follow-up!
• will_couvillier - Hey! Psst! Got tools? I need to adjust my Mainspring!
• will_couvillier - Jay Lake contemplates how quick research will be with his computer jack upgrade while impatiently waiting for his system tune-up to finish.
• thecrimsony - Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology. Jay Lake will be, the six dollar and ninety-nine cent writer. *nananananananananana*
• etcet - . o O (Why didn't I spring for the bionic nipples?)
• kproche - An advanced case of the H1N1-T2000 influenza...
• libertango - "We can rebuild him: Better. Stronger. Faster."
• anghara - "Oil be back...."
• quantumage - "Did you have to cut off my Mainspring?!"
• quantumage - "Push nipple to activate."
• quantumage - "Jay's obsession over the fictional Cylon Caprica 6 takes a sad, twisted turn."
• quantumage - "Jay had thought putting "John Connor" on the admission papers was funny. Upon waking from the anaesthesia -- not so much."
• deire - We can make him stronger! Faster! Rustier....
• deire - The research lab was thrilled. The hospital legal department however was not amused.
• biomekanic - The secret of Jay's prodigious ability to keep writing is finally revealed.
• ckastens - Only now do we finally discover how Jay writes so damn fast!
• uglychicken - I hope they remembered to add pockets.
• sheelangig - In Which Our Hero Discovers That Being The One Thousandth Mechanical Monkey Goes Through Many Keyboards
• uglychicken - Aw, not again! I've GOT to throw away that organ donor card...
• martianmooncrab - Sir, your health insurance doesn't cover this proceedure, due to the aftermarket modifications you made.
• jennifer_brozek - Suddenly, we understood how Jay could churn out so many good words in a single sitting. He really was a machine.
• controuble - Jay wasn't paying much attention when his daughter asked for a volunteer to help with the class science project.
• farmgirl1146 - Life is good, except for the toilet he now wears.
• charlesatan - There's a reason why I wrote clockpunk...
• joshenglish - JayCon IX has been moved to Oil Can Henry's. You mere biologicals can get take out.
• manmela - As a terminator, Jay Lake was never a very successful killing machine, but his nipples were the envy of the entire T-800 range
• manmela - "Ah Mr Lake, we seem to have found the reason for your blockage, and... well... I don't know how to explain this to you... but you appear to have no anus!"
• leesmiley - Half hideous abomination, half machine . . . .
• joycemocha - "So who's hotter now, the Borg Queen or me?"
• martinlivings - "Hey! You said I'd be anatomically correct!"
• catsparx - It only hurts when I articulate!
• madwriter - The Child's new transportation is nearly ready to drive.
• ken_schneyer - "Listen, we offered you the same-day service contract, and you said no. Leave it here at the shop and come back in two days."
• paulcarp - "But Oz never did give nothing to the tin man..."
• lee_martindale - "I thought when they said 'Resistance is Futile', it was an invitation to negotiate the contract."
• Matt H - Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. Jay Lake will be the world's first bionic man.
• Steve Buchheit - Tired of recurring intestinal distress, Jay decided to get one of those bodies from the Flomax commercials and put Roto Rooter on retainer.
• Jaws - McCoy discovers that sometimes, being "just a doctor isn't enough; his tricorder does not include the 19mm socket necessary to save the alien.
• MarkB - "Is that a piston in your pants, or are you just — oh, never mind."
• Julie N. - Well shoot me in the butt and call me Flipper - now I know how he writes so fast!

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