[cancer|personal] Eating and watching and dreaming and scans
by
Yesterday was a pretty good day. We had a small family-and-friends fondue party. mlerules
the_child
Overnight, I had the most indescribable dreams. I woke after every REM cycle, though I managed to sleep well enough during the course of the night that I’m not starting today pathologically exhausted, as happened to me last Monday. I dreamt about everything, sometimes all at once, from the zombie apocalypse to pizza to Bridezillas to media takeovers to pizza to endless struggles alongside the_child
This morning, Lisa Costello is taking me to have the CT scan to follow up on the elevated CEA levels. Tomorrow, I go in for related bloodwork. Wednesday, I see the oncologist. My scanxiety is always an issue, as in uncertain moments such as this I tend to fixate on the essentially mechanical event of the scan itself, rather than the later-to-be-forthcoming data once the radiologist has read my scan and my oncologist has reviewed the results. The usual reality at my clinic is they release everything to me pre-appointment so I have time to read and process the report, but that’s not a consistent behavior. So I may know more (to my relief or to my horror) as soon as this afternoon, or I may not know anything until I walk into the consultation room Wednesday afternoon.
So I continue quietly terrified for now.
Also, I’m getting a library card today.
More from my site

Best wishes for your scan today- I hope the techs know you and give you the report so you at least don’t have to wait to hear the news.
White Collar is a lovely and fun show.
And I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you as always.