Loose paraphrases of some things people have said to me recently, but not that loose.
“Hey, Jake…” If you want me well-disposed to do anything for you, including simply answering your email, use my actual name. I am not now and have never been “Jake”. It’s the only misuse of my name that actively bothers me, but it does bother me. I think that this version means the writer simply isn’t paying attention, eliding “Jay Lake” into “Jake”. Nothing wrong with Jake as a name, but it’s not my name.
“You’ve done more in your life than most people ever will.” This is apparently supposed to make me feel better about dying decades too soon. Exactly how is this a comfort to me?
“At the end, it will be a relief to let go.” That’s even worse than the one before. Again, why would I want to look forward to that?
“Your Hugo-nominated novella isn’t your best work. You got the nomination out of sympathy.” While that might even be true — How would I know? — and it’s certainly an opinion that some people may hold, what is the point of writing me an earnest letter saying such a thing? How does this improve my life?
There’s more, but you get the idea.
So, yeah. Just saying’.