[cancer|food] How I spend my days

The lead suit slowly improves. So does the giant clamp on my brain. The problem is and continues to be food.

The protocol I was on at NIH had the incidental effect of deconditioning me from being able to eat. Right now we spend most of my waking hours preparing me to eat, tricking me into eating, calming me down when I react to food, and planning how I will eat.

It is a freaking misery. Everything is about food right now, and not in a fun way. I feel ill at my stomach most of the time. And hardly anything works.

This is one reason I have not resumed regular blogging. My entire life right now is focused around managing enough food intake to try to switch from a starvation metabolism to a fat metabolism. You have no idea how all-consuming that can be. Not to mention miserable.

9 thoughts on “[cancer|food] How I spend my days

  1. Albatross says:

    Sorry man, it sounds terrible. Stay strong.

  2. Terry says:

    SO sorry you have to go through this. *hugs,* dood.

  3. Barbara F. Smoody says:

    well dammit. at risk of putting you off it by association, can you find solace/distraction in music? i hope another day of time will ease these conditions, and you will soon be eating more willingly.

  4. Matte Lozenge says:

    Sounds like a bad time for sure. Did the chemo kill off all your gut bacteria?

  5. Erica says:

    Aww, this sounds horrible. I’m so sorry this effect is hanging around. Classical conditioning is a powerful thing.

  6. Bellatrix says:

    I’m sending you and your team all kinds of love. Rest well!

  7. Jaya says:

    Ah, the sheer tediousness of the food thing. My conditions require the food thing every day for as long as I last. Pain in the @$$. I can never walk into a shop or restaurant and buy food. It’s time consuming and Tedious in the extreme.

  8. Jaya says:

    Sorry, didn’t finish… planning the food thing is almost the worst part. Hope this improves for you soon

  9. Kristi says:

    Sounds terrible, what a shame. My first thought is “medical marijuana” — can’t we do that in Oregon, now? I hope something helps, and soon, and that your strength returns, and soon.

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