[cancer] Things I forgot in my previous post

Two things I meant to say in my previous post today, and just plain forgot.

The first is that while the NIH treatment didn’t work for Jay, the NIH docs did say that the data they got from his participation will be of great help with future patients. So Jay’s other stated goal of this trial was met: SCIENCE! This pleases Jay.

The second is that while we originally stated that there was a second trial that Jay would participate in if the first didn’t work, the reality is that his condition is so poor now that his participation in that trial would be miraculous. He would have to recover to the point of being almost normal again, and given how the tumors have progressed, I think this is highly unlikely. Not impossible, mind you, but not likely. None of us, the NIH docs included, realized just how debilitating the first trial would be for Jay.

30 thoughts on “[cancer] Things I forgot in my previous post

  1. Mari Kurisato says:

    I cannot say anything profound friend Jay, I can’t say much at all except thank you for forever brightening my world with you writing, wit, and fart jokes. It was been an honor drawing your portrait, sir. Excelsior.

  2. Dave Raines says:

    I am terribly sorry to hear that Jay is declining as you describe. It’s good that he’s helped science to advance, but I wish science would have advanced enough to make him well. Jay was by far the most interesting atheist I conversed with as a pastor. I did not and will not try to “convert” him, but I’ll just pray that I’m right and he’s wrong — that the organized packet of information called Jay Lake somehow remains vital for eternity. I hope this prayer doesn’t add to your desolation.

  3. Jaya says:

    Cancer is so effing crap.
    I’m left wishing that I could suck the life out of masses of politicians and feed it to you two… like a ‘Sime Channel’, you know?
    If wishes were fishes… thinking of you all.

  4. Catie Murphy says:

    Dammit. I’m glad that his participation will be useful to others, but as Dave said above, I wish science had progressed enough to help Jay.

    I think of him, and all of you, often. My thoughts and love to you all.

  5. Mahesh M says:

    Echoing the others when I say you’re all in my thoughts, too.

    My thanks to Jay for his perseverance and for his humanitarian work by helping others by undertaking the trial.

    My thanks to you, Lisa, for being such a rock. I spent a brief time in a similar role a few years ago, so I know a little what you’re going through.

    You, Jay, and his family are lights in the void.

  6. Alexis says:


  7. Terry says:

    More hugs to both of you. Whatever the researchers learn from Jay’s participation, it will benefit people beyond what he can imagine, I’m sure. And maybe for generations. Small comfort when he’s suffering, I know. But maybe some solace. Good on him.

  8. W. Lotus says:

    Cancer sucks. That’s all I can think of right now.

  9. Jeff Bryson says:

    I met Jay once. I had the honor of introducing him at the South Carolina Book Festival several years back. That night, I watched him dance with wild abandon with Ann and Jeff VanderMeer and a whole host of book folk. I went on to hunt up, read and enjoy everything I could find by Jay. Thanks for it all, my friend… I will remember you.

  10. Tziedel says:

    Thank you, Jay, for all the worlds you’ve given us.

  11. I’ve got nothing. “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” You fought the good fight, Jay, and left a mark on the world that will not soon be erased.

  12. Bellatrix says:

    I’m sending you and jay’s families love. Fuck that cancer and many blessed sunrises to you all!

  13. I’m truly sorry it didn’t help and the news is dire, but excited that the science may help others in the future.

    I hope for the best possible time from here on out.

  14. Bruce Taylor says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. I kept hoping, as everyone, that somehow, someway, SOMEthing might turn the tide. But I will say this: the world is a better place and we’re all better because of–Jay Lake. Thanks, Jay. I so wish something would have worked for you to restore you back to health.

  15. Ovasi says:

    Thank you for continuing to be as brave as you are for sharing Jay’s condition with us. Like the other commenter, I know my words aren’t enough, but I appreciate you for “speaking for” Jay. It must have been very hard to post even this bad news.

  16. Jay – thank you for making me a braver person. I’ll see you in a while. -L

  17. Marianne says:

    Peace, peace, peace. I will miss you Jay. Grateful for the connection we made however fleeting. You have contributed much to the world. We do love you. My good thoughts are with you and your family.

  18. Emily Mah says:

    My grandmother was one of the first people to receive chemotherapy. She endured massive overdoses, crippling side effects, and passed away when my father was still a child, so I never got to meet her. I can’t help but see the parallels here, and all I can say is, you guys really have done something great for humanity. I’m glad my grandmother’s sacrifice advanced a treatment regimen that helped extend Jay’s life (even though I know the chemo experience is horrific all the same). Jay’s bettered the lives and survival rates of our yet unborn grandchildren. I only wish science would be able to make the great leap forward here in the present.

  19. Ellen Datlow says:

    Thank you Jay. And fuck cancer.

  20. RSAGARCIA says:

    This is terrible news. Jay, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I have never met you, but I do hope that whatever comes next, you find the peace and love you gave to your readers while you were here. Blessings on you and your family

  21. Alan Roberts says:

    Is Jay up to seeing visitors? I’ll be up in Portland….

  22. Danny Sichel says:

    Dammit, Jay. You live the *hell* out of that hospice care, you understand? Not just vivimus, but vivamus.

    Fuck cancer.

  23. Sarah says:

    Damn it a million times. I was so hoping that Jay would get both SCIENCE and at least a respite. Thank you both for sharing so much of yourselves. It’s so greatly appreciated and it’s been a privilege to share in your lives.

  24. Dirt says:

    Thinking of you Jay and family. You are helping others and that is admirable and awesome. Love from some steampunk folks that met you at tea and that you made an impression on.

  25. I was away at a conference, and not keeping up on things well, when a friend mentioned these posts to me. I’m so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts are with all of you during this time. Kindest regards.

  26. Rick Moen says:

    You’ve been a bright spark, Jay, and an inspiration to all of us, especially your brethren in cytopathology.

    Lisa, Jay might enjoy the great Pete Seeger singing ‘Get Up and Go’, which can be found on YouTube, with refrain as follows:

    “How do I know my youth is all spent?
    My get-up-and-go has got up and went.
    But, in spite of it all, I’m able to grin
    And think of the places my getup has been.”

    All the best,
    Rick Moen

  27. RussW says:

    Man, what to say?

    Jay, I’m thankful and glad that I got to know you for such a long time in the Austin days. And it’s a bummer that we lived so far apart geographically for the past 15 years. The world is a better place because of all the energy and goodness and inspiration and fun which you gave it. Thanks for being you.

  28. Mary Kay says:

    Please tell Jay I hold him in my thoughts. I will never forget the encouragement he gave me.
    Mary Ksy

  29. Stevie says:

    I’m glad about the science, and sorry that the trial has had such an adverse effect on Jay’s condition. It does reflect just how little we know about the enormous complexity of living organisms; I very much hope that the palliative care people can help with Jay’s quality of life, which, in turn will help you and all of Jay’s loved ones.

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