[cancer] The end has come

Jay passed this morning, June 1 at 5:45. Lisa and friends were with him. He will be missed.

If you want to make a contribution in Jay’s name, please make it to:
Clayton Memorial Medical Fund
P.O. Box 5703
Portland, Oregon 97228

121 thoughts on “[cancer] The end has come

  1. Amy says:

    Rest in peace, Jay. You will be missed.

  2. Linda Deneroff says:

    My condolences to Jay’s family. Words fail.

  3. Liz says:

    I greatly admire Jay for documenting his journey with this terrible disease, one which robbed him of so very much.

    I am so sorry this time has come, both for Jay and for his family.

    I know he didn’t believe in an after-life, but I am so hoping if there is one, he is there, smiling and saying, “so what do folks do here”

  4. Leila B. says:

    Much sympathy to Jay’s family and all who loved him.

    Anyone who has read him, followed his blog, his journey, will miss him, I know I certainly will.

  5. Mary Madewell says:

    I am so sorry. My condolences.

  6. Carole Cole says:

    Dear Jay, I am so sorry your time here with us has ended. I’ll look for you in the stars.

  7. redheadedfemme says:

    Lisa, Bronwyn, I’m so, so sorry. I only knew Jay through his blog, but he was a beautiful person. Damn it all.

  8. Rick Novy says:

    Jay lead by example. His work ethic remains an inspiration to me. I regret I never had the chance to meet him face to face. My condolences.

  9. My condolences and thoughts to Lisa, the Child, Jay’s family, and many, many friends. I’ve not commented much since Jay switched from LJ but I saw this today, and… it seems no words suffice. I do wish to say that I have the utmost respect and admiration for Jay’s continued blogging through his cancer, as difficult as it must have been. I’ve only known him through his blogging, but even from that alone, I could see he was an amazing person, and I wish I’d had the chance to meet him.

    I haven’t gotten around to reading any of his novels; I’ll be putting that as a priority, as that would seem to me, as a total stranger, a fitting memorial, as well as a donation to Clayton Memorial.

  10. SubmarineBells says:

    I’m so sorry. He will be missed.

  11. catfriend says:

    I am saddened to hear this, even though I knew it was coming. It just proves once again that life is not fair. I feel for and empathize with the pain at having a loved one die (my own mother died suddenly a week ago today). Take comfort from all your friends and family. You will need them now more than ever. I will miss Jay’s voice. The world will be poorer without him. My condolences.

  12. Terie Garrison says:

    Condolences to all Jay’s loved ones. The world is a poorer place today for his loss.

  13. Rick York says:

    I am so sorry. But, I am also glad that his suffering is over. My heart goes out to Lisa and Joe and “The Child”. What a wonderful soul that man had.

  14. BC Brugger says:

    Our thoughts are with his family and friends. He’s left a mighty big hole in the world.

  15. Leslie What says:

    I’m so sorry. Even when you know something like this will happen it’s still so sudden, so unexpected, so real, so final. My sympathies to Lisa and The Child and his parents and family and friends. May remembering Jay’s bright light bring some comfort as your mourn.

  16. Cora Buhlert says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear this. My condolences to Lisa, the child and the rest of Jay’s family and friends.

  17. Joe Haldeman says:

    Jay’s courage and willingness to share made all of our worlds larger.

    We have lost our only Jay Lake. Not much more to say, really, except to hope that those who were close to him can take some comfort in the fact that his ordeal is over.

    Joe Haldeman

  18. Ah hell.

    The world grew a little smaller and a little darker today, but Jay lives on through his words – it may not be immortality but for a writer it’s the next best thing.

    You will be missed, Jay. Every damned day.

  19. Andreas says:

    Without ever having met Jay, I’m surprised myself by how deeply I’m saddened by this news. His absolute honesty to himself in times of despair, yet his seemingly unending perseverance and his absolute unwillingness to let cancer take away his dignity were truly awe-inspiring. I hope he died content with his fight and in the knowledge that his family and loved-ones will miss him terribly, but will – someday – find solace in their memories of him.

    Lisa, Bronwyn, Jay’s mom and dad, “Mother of the Child”, the rest of Jay’s family: You have my deepest sympathies. I wish you all the best for the upcoming time.

  20. Diane Asyre says:

    What to say – my heart aches and I am grateful the stars were in alignment for Jay to reach so many in such a meaningful way during his life – particularly the way he touched our family.

  21. Danielle Gembala says:

    Nothing can fill the void he left but the thoughts of the people who loved him. My thoughts are with you all. We were all the better for Jay’s presence in this world.

  22. Karen Junker says:

    Our condolences to Lisa, Jay’s family and many friends. He was an instructor for many years at the writing events we organized and we will continue to fund a scholarship in Jay’s name.

  23. Fail Burton says:

    Sorry, buddy. Sky high, dream and rest.

  24. V's Herbie says:

    My condolences and well wishes for his family. His writings here over the last couple of years have made death a less scary place.

  25. Patrick Swenson says:

    Already missed. RIP, and strength and peace to his family and closest friends.

  26. I’m very sorry to hear this, but glad he is out of his misery.

  27. a__cubed says:

    Jay enlightened and enlivened the world and his lossis awful for those of us who merely knew him. We can only guess how much worse it is for those nearest and dearest to him. My deepest condolences and sympathies.

  28. I’m very sorry to hear this news. My friend Dylan passed away two weeks ago from cancer. The more I see people dying of this terrible ailment, the more I want to work to fight it.

    I can only hope that Jay realized how much of an inspiration he was to as many people as he was.

    Have a seat & drink up, Jay. You’ve earned it.

  29. Ellen Datlow says:

    My condolences to Jay’s family. Love to you all. He was a good man.

  30. W. Lotus says:

    My condolences to all of Jay’s friends and loved ones. May your memories of him and his insistence on authenticity in his battle against cancer comfort and strengthen you.

  31. SoonLeeNZ says:

    Farewell Jay.

  32. Elise Matthesen says:


    Got no words.

    G’bye, Jay.

    Condolences to Lisa and The Child and all the family.

  33. Paula Helm Murray says:

    Condolences and much sympathy. Hugs and love down the e-ways.

  34. Mark says:

    A sad loss for us all and especially to Jay’s family. I’m sorry for your loss and my condolences to all.

  35. DavidK44 says:

    I never had the pleasure of meeting Jay in person, but I’ve followed his blog and his writing for years. There’s now a large Jay-shaped hole in the world, and we’re all the less for it. My condolences to all his family. May the joy of his life help with the pain of his passing.

  36. Mandi says:

    I never had the pleasure of meeting Jay, but I have read his words. He was an amazing person. My prayers go out to his family and friends. He will be missed.

  37. Nico says:

    Rest well Sir. It was an honor getting to know you via the great internets, and your words and books and pictures. My condolences to his family and friends, he will be most very missed.

  38. Liz DeJesus says:

    Rest in Peace, Jay. :'(

  39. Trey says:

    My sympathies to Lisa, Bronwyn, his family, friends and fans.
    I only got to meet Jay once at a dinner at Houston and treasure the experience. I also treasure the stories he shared and the world is smaller for his passing.

  40. Big D says:

    Truly saddened to hear this news. My sincere condolences to Jay’s family and loved ones. Jay’s willingness to share his battle was inspirational.

  41. texasfriend says:

    I’m lucky to have wasted (in a good way) many hours with Jay when we were young.

    Today I feel very mortal and sad.

  42. Amy Thomson says:

    I’ll miss Jay’s irreverent humor and his can-do fuck-cancer attitude! My sympathy and condolences to Bronwyn, Lisa Costello, and everyone else who loved him.

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