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[memes] A decennial census of my life

Because all the cool kids are doing it, and I am weak-willed where peer pressure is concerned.

March 2011: To my immense surprise, I am single again. To my even more immense surprise, cancer has been visiting me regularly the past few years. To my most immense surprise, I have eight novels in print, two more under contract, five collections, over a dozen anthologies edited, and embarrassing number of short stories. [info]the_child is thirteen and singing Papageno in her seventh grade class’s production of The Magic Flute.

March 2001: Having moved from Austin, Texas to Portland, Oregon the previous year, this is the month where I make my first professional fiction sale, “The Courtesy of Guests” to Bones of the World, ed. Bruce Holland Rogers for SFF.Net Press. The 1990s have brought two miscarriages and ultimately [info]the_child into my life.

March 1991: I am living in Austin, Texas between my first and second marriages, and between my first and second trips to Outer Mongolia. My largely empty house hosts some epic parties, and the Dry Ice incident takes place about this time. Also, I have already begun writing in earnest with a goal of publication.

March 1981: I am a fifth former at Choate Rosemary Hall in southern Connecticut. My parents are living in Kaduna, Nigeria, my sister is in prep school in Massachusetts and my brother is learning to speak British at home. Dungeons and Dragons is my life. We are very stoked about first edition AD&D.

March 1971: I’m living in Washington, DC at age 6, largely being raised by my grandfather. My dad is about to marry my step-mother. I am forced to take ballet in a vain attempt to introduce some grace and coordination into my deeply physically inept young body.

March 1961: I do not exist. My dad is at TCU working towards being on a national championship College Bowl team, and dating my mom about then. My maternal grandparents, who died before I was born, are still alive.

[memes] Ten Things I’ve Done That You (Probably) Haven’t

Pace John Scalzi and Mary Robinette Kowal, here are ten things I’ve done that you (probably) haven’t.

  • Been thrashed by Amy Carter in croquet
  • Climbed down inside a classical Greek tomb through a hole in the ground
  • Held a lion cub in my arms
  • Flown deep into the Gobi Desert aboard an Antonov-17 (not the most frightening flight of my life, amazingly enough)
  • Flooded a moving car with raw sewage
  • Wrote a hot check to a recently-paroled murderer
  • Asked a truckload of heavily armed men in a Third World country for directions, well after midnight on a very lonely road, and not woken up later in a shallow grave
  • Been bitten by a pig
  • Eaten live eel soup
  • Walked on the Arctic ice
  • Fought a fatal porn fire
  • Been sent home from the hospital with a piece of my own colon in formaldehyde

Ok, so that was twelve. I couldn’t figure out which one of my favorites to cut…

What are some of the weirdest or most unusual things you’ve done?

[memes] All my crimes…

If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I was there for?

Answer me, then post this in your own journal (or, you know, don’t) to see how many different crimes you get accused of committing.

(Snurched from tbclone47.)

[memes] A rare bout of memage

calendula_witch tagged me with the “7 Random and/or Weird Things About Me” meme.

1. I have ridden both kinds of camels — dromedary and bactrian.

2. I know what fermented mare’s milk tastes like.

3. Once in my life I voted Republican.

4. I own several pairs of $500 Alden shoes.

5. The thump of falling vultures used to wake me up at night in my teens.

6. At one point in my youth I very seriously wanted to be a mechanical engineer.

7. I took a 1981 Ford LTD wagon across a Mexican river on a pair of canoes lashed together with 1x12s.

In keeping with my usual philosophy of memage, I tag no one except those of you who wish to consider yourself tagged.