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[contest] Why should you be a character in Tourbillon?

I have decided to name a slightly dim-witted British Army lieutenant in Goa after one of my blog readers. Here in comments, leave a brief explanation of why you should be immortalized in Tourbillon. Around Tuesday I’ll make a poll out of the answers, and we’ll vote in the winner of this fabulous Tuckerization.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your comment engines.